Sit Sitting Sit

Sitting like this
Next to you
Not touching
Not speaking
Not breathing
Is a new form of suffocating.

Space has never felt so small
While distance so huge.

Just want to
Lay my head on your shoulder
Put my hand on your knee
And breathe.

I'm not breathing
When I'm near you
I'm not breathing.

Used to be
You took my breath away -
You still do, just the same
But now it doesn't come back.

Breath gets replaced
By a need to vomit
Even though I haven't eaten in days.
Breath gets replaced
By a need to cry
Even though I've been crying for days.

I have little left to give you.
But I'll keep trying.
--4.4.10