Waterfall

Escape this prison
I can't escape you
And you're not even here
I can't fuckin think about anything
This is just me
So forget it
Let the world fuck me
Cause I can't fuck you
I'm over it
I don't care about anything anymore
I can't escape you
And you're not even here
--8.31.05

Deaden the Feeling

Um...

Deaden the Feeling

It's so strong that
There's nothing else in me
I wish I could
Deaden the feeling
I can't think about
Anything else but you
I wish I could
Deaden the feeling
Anything else but you
Anyone else but you
If only it were (only it were)
Anyone else but you
I don't even know how to say
Exactly what I mean
I wish I could
Deaden the feeling
Cut you out of me
You're embedded like a parasite
I wish I could
Deaden the feeling
Parasite please
Take my life
Kill me now
It's all too much to take
Hear this song in my head
All about you
It's all about you
It's all about you...
--8.31.05

Raw

Um, same thing...

Raw

And if this is not enough
Then I am giving up
Cause even though it's not the end of the world
This is the end of mine
I keep trying cause you're worthi it
But this is an uphill losing battle
And I don't have the energy
To keep up the fight
I am
Shut out
Shot down
Left out
Let down
I tell you I love you
You say you love someone else
No sensitivity!
No, you're just being honest
You say goodbye, I say it's okay
But that's all a lie
It's not okay
I need you
And you're gone, you're never here
You could never understand
Why do I care about you?
I hate you!
No, I hate me
I am sorry
This is my fault
You didn't ask for this
Neither did I
It chose me
I chose you
-- 8.30.05

Honesty

I think the only person who would read this and know who this is about is, well, the person it's about.

Honesty
She's on my mind
But I can't have her
She's on my mind
God damn her
Left to my own devices
I know her love is priceless
And she is not mine
She walks in her own line
I want to scream out my lonely
I want to be her one and only
I miss her, but does she miss me
I dream to kiss her, but would she kiss me
She's keeping me up at night
I can see her face in the absence of light
In the darkness I imagine her touch
The feel of her that I want so much
But she is happy. I leave her alone.
This sorrowful agony is only my own.
-- 8/29/05

Take Your Time

Because life has been so fucking complicated...

Take Your Time

What happened to
Innocence
No consequence
Fun all day
A little work, more play
Time took it away

What happened to
Best friends
To no end
Always say
You're here today
Time took it all away

I used to know
Who I was
And who my friends were
I knew what life's about
But not I'm not so sure

I used to think
Life was perfect
And things would always stay the same
But I grew up and
Time change the game

Time took it all
Took it all away...
--8.23.05

Gray Area

Only a few people will know what this one is about. I'm not sure if it's really any good, it's just my brian screaming at me. I don't even know if it makes sense. Lemme know.

Gray Area

Shred your beliefs
For a soapbox speech
Explain the sense it makes
To those you abandon
You preach acceptance
And total honest self expression
But if it all works for you
Look at who is left condemned
In this, our democracy
You are subject to a dictator
A 2000 year old letter
Purely for advice
This is now your law
A slingshot from left to right
I'm just stretched to the limit
With no place to go
--8.14.05

Blinded

I wrote this on the plane on the way back from New York... I'm not sure how much sense it makes, cause my brain was kind of all over that day.

Blinded

She is always ignored but
He is never left alone
What would happen
If they took on the world
Life could be violent, even fatal
But what is life without the fight?
How do you learn if you were never ignorant?
Can you grow if you were never innocent?

Life can be ugly
But I still think it's beautiful
Life can be violent
But I still know there is peace
You can hurt be
But I can still be strong
You can say it is impossible
But I will still believe

Nothing is fair
And even in this land of freedom
You have to fight for you right
To have freedom of choice
Policy is prejudice
A democratic republic led by a dictator
Injustice is procedure
And fear is standard
-- 8.13.05

Quote Time!

I'm in a very thoughtful mood, so I'm going to post some quotes. Some are thoughts of mine, some are lines from shows, some are things other people have said. Take your pick which is which.

Some are driven away my edicts, others by silence.

And now no one is left to talk to, except the voices in my head, and I've already heard all they have to say.

So that's him.
Yeah.
He's cute.
I know.
{and nothing will ever happen. talk is only talk.}

It's a nice night. To feel like shit.

Parties are not for sitting by yourself.

That picture's crooked.
Shut up - you're crooked!

How long did you guys go out?
You mean how long until I regretted it?

Then we can talk about life, what you think about things... It can all turn out quite pleasant.

Why were you all over *him* at the party? Was it to make me jealous?
I'm not that shallow.
Yes you are.
You know, you're an idiot.

Did I really tell him to break a leg (before the show) and mean it? Wow. Maybe I'm the idiot.

I'm not ur age for much longer though hehe
Close enough. Shut up
hahah I get what you mean.

Okay I think that's enough. No one is on to talk to and I'm bored as hell. It's time for some sleep.

Right Here

Don't mind me
I'm just walking in circles
Because now that it's over
I don't know where to go
Push me off this circle
In the right direction
Let me fly
More than so far
Start something more
Before it all goes to waste
I'll be here to help
Always walking in circles.
--7.31.05

Because the show is over and I'm really fuckin depressed.