I Don't Wanna Talk

We've had a long conversation
Feels like it's been going on forever
And I'm sick of the same excuses
More words from a former lover

I don't wanna talk anymore
I don't wanna talk about this
I don't wanna talk to you
I don't wanna talk anymore

Can't explain exactly what happened
Don't know just what changed
All I know is I'm tired
My mind is twisted and deranged

I don't wanna talk anymore
I don't wanna talk about this
I don't wanna talk to you
I don't wanna talk anymore
--7/15/06

Turn Around

I am
Unbelievably blessed
Lucky for once
So grateful for it

I am
Wanting to scream FUCK YOU
At just a couple people
Who are pushing me away

I am
Confused in my joy
Confused in my anger
Determined to get through

I am
Determined to forget you
Be happy with who I've got
Because it doesn't get more amazing than that
--7/13/06

I Told Him: Never Silence Your Heart

He wrote me bits of wisdom
And
Told me truths unknown

He swept me off my feet with poetry
And
Put me back on the ground with grace

When my mind was silent
He knew what I was thinking

So I hope now that my heart must be silent
He will still know how I feel.
--7/8/06

Dog Days

I am not a dog
Not loved by all
Or easily please by playing with a bone

If I misbehave,
I am not simply put in a cage
For a few hours

I am not content
To sit around the house
Or go for a walk to smell the grass

I am not a dog
My life is not so simple
Though right now I wish it were
--7/6/06

Glass Fire

Reduced again
To sideways cyber glances
Knowing nothing more
Can come of this
My eyes are blurred
Like shattered mirrors
This is the epitome of
Life is unfair
Cliche but all too true
I am burning from the inside out
--7/6/06

Face Forward

It is typical of life
That the one person I
Need
To talk to most is
The one I am
Forbidden
To speak to
It's like a safety line's been snapped
Ot the light's been turned on
To reveal emptiness

Here I am reaching out
Slamming into a wall
Face first
Falling down head first
Onto concrete with a headache
Pounding in my ead
Like my feet pounding the street
As I run away from this
Towards the wall
With you on the other side
--7/6/06

Soliloquoy on Strings

Inexplicable
Is all I can say about
How I feel
It's impossible
To understand
What's happening to me.

I want to cry
With the pain of
Not being able to
Express my joy
In its entirety.

There are tears in my eyes
Of joy and of pain
And I want no one to know
The effect this has on me - It's
Inexplicable.
--7/5/06

Mirror of Emotions

Talking in our little whipsers
I don't know what to do
Because there is so much I need
And so much to say to you
That I can't say because I can't explain
How I'm feeling or what I think
I know I would feel like a fool
If I told you the truth
Because I don't think I'm looking in
A mirror of my emotions
So I hold back
But it is a terrible feeling
To be stifled
Especialy by oneself.
--7/4/06

How it Felt

She stares in the mirror and she thinks
Of him
The things he did to her
That she wishes she didn't want him to do
Again
But she does want him and she can't
Stop herself
From thinking about what was and could be
It's far too painful, she thinks
How can she feel this way - she
Doesn't understand
Why he is always on her mind
She wants to forget how it felt
But it won't
Go away
--7/3/06

Conflict Perspective

That touch is his (your) lips on her (my) lips
She (I) feels his (your) warm breath
On the back of her (my) neck
And now the weight of his (your) head
Pressing against her (my) chest
As his (your) hands slide smoothly
Down her (my) arms
Then he (you) lets loose a whisper
Calling her (me) "Baby"
Sending shivers up her (my) spine.

I (she) miss such a time
And I (she) wonder
Is it (she) or you (him) who has changed
To make me (her) feel like a different person...
--7/1/06