Forgetting

The night you broke up with me
Over a cold white screen
I
Thought I might kill myself.

I told
You
I was going for a walk.
It was raining.

You
Said okay.
I
Walked to the river
Thought about jumping in
Or in front of a car
In the glittering rain.

There were people on suicide watch
For weeks after.
(I
Didn't know until later.)
They
Were worried about me. Because
You
Weren't.

Now I
Have finally erased it.
I
Can't remember that
We
Ever were friends.

I
Don't remember what it felt like to
Fall asleep in your arms
Hold hands
Wake up in your bed
Be part of a
We.

The memories are
Blurred and fractured and
Don't hurt so much now that
You
Are just some kid
I
See sometimes and don't like
And can't remember why.
--3.23.11